Tuesday, March 22, 2011
The saying “seeing is believing” is true to a large extent but more subtle than it first appears. We see something and how we see it, will determine what we believe about it. If we see it inaccurately, then what we believe about it will be equally inaccurate.
Which leads me to the conclusion that the obverse of this saying is also true- “believing is seeing”.
If you believe that the universe is composed of what Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche called – basic goodness – then that is how you will see the world. If you believe that people are divided between good and evil then you will see some people as good and some people as evil - and you will act accordingly.
This seeing what we believe and acting accordingly, has real consequences.
I was about to go into rehearsals for a play when a friend of mine, Leon, asked me who was in the cast. I went down the list and when I got to an actress we’ll call Mary, Leon balked. “Mary is toxic!” he bellowed. “Stay out of her orbit. She’ll be all friendly and suck you in and then bang she’ll throw you under the bus and she’s a sexual predator, so watch out for that!” I was warned!
I went to rehearsal and met this “Mary”. I was terrified. I sat away down the table, avoided her at break and when asked if I wanted to go for a drink after the rehearsal - I coolly refused. I was not about to sucked in to her toxic pool. For two weeks I was able to keep her at bay. I watched her Machiavellian antics with the rest of the cast. Her casual evil laugh, her cloying support during tough moments in rehearsal, her chumming with the crew and the gaggle of poor suckers who were taken in by her wile and sinister charm. Around the start of week three, Leon asked me how it was going and I announced that I had kept said Mary Mac at bay. “Mary Mac?” he asked quizzically. “Wrong Mary.” He stated flatly. “Oops!”
“Oops?” “Oops?” That didn’t half cover it. I had interpreted every action of this woman to be malevolent and made her out to be a social pariah. I ran to rehearsal and approached poor Mary. I explained what had transpired. Her response was polite, but cold. Small wonder! The relationship never recovered.
I had seen her as toxic and lost the opportunity to discover who she really was. Believing had been seeing. And believing something that wasn’t true or accurate had stopped me from seeing what was actually there- a delightful woman with a heart of gold. I had missed out entirely.
As a result of this insight I realized there was another old phrase that needed to be modified - “What you see is what you get”. What you see is what you “believe” you’ll see. We all know people who believe the world is a great place filled with blessings and treats behind every twist of fate and that all clouds are silver lined - and for them this seems to be the truth. The question is, do these people lead blessed lives or do they see their lives as a blessing?
My experience of late is simple; if we believe in “basic goodness” we’ll see it everywhere we look.
