CHANGE it Up-

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Every company or organization I work with nowadays seems to share one issue in common - a serious desire to understand how best to cope with change. 

As a freelance artist my whole life I have had a steady diet of change.  And that, I realized, was the key to my being able, not just to “cope” with change, but love it.  Just like training for a marathon – you train for something by consciously doing it. Don’t wait for change to buffet you about like a rag doll - instead, develop muscles much needed when the vicissitudes of life ensue.  It’s easy – just CHANGE it Up!

Make changes in every area of your life; break habits, alter routines, clothes, foods, exercise regimes. This last one, about exercise, is particularly relevant as there is a whole new fitness craze called “muscle confusion”, which alleges that we need to change up the way we exercise so the muscles don’t get used to the same old same old and start cheating! This is true in all areas of our lives.

The more we change for fun - the more fun we’ll discover in change.

Look at your day and every time you go to do something – CHANGE it Up! Have something outrageous for breakfast or take yourself out for breakfast to that restaurant you’ve never tried. Dress up for work or dress down. If anyone asks – tell them what you’re up to. They’ll get it and might even join in!

Take a different route to work, and or, a different mode of transport. Move your furniture around, (Don’t worry you can always put it back!) Talk with people you don’t like. Call people you haven’t spoken to in a while and touch base. Look at different sites on the internet. Go to the library and walk down aisles you’ve never wandered and take out a book about something you’ve never read about before. Go to a new place of worship. Check out a tourist attraction in your area you’ve never tried before. Go to a lecture you wouldn’t normally give a second thought to. Go hear music outside your comfort zone. Swing on a swing. Wear a Speedo! No. On second thought - Don’t do that. I tried that once and the kids didn’t talk to me for the rest of the vacation.

But you get the picture.  Whatever you’re doing - CHANGE it Up!

One thing you’ll notice the first day is that it is deeply exhausting and exhilarating.  You’ll find some things so much fun you’ll wonder why you didn’t make the changes sooner. You will discover things about your world and yourself that you didn’t know before and you’ll flex and develop change muscles that you didn’t know you had.

Go ahead – CHANGE it UP!

Popeye Day

The other day I tweeted that I was having a “Popeye Day”.  Which means I felt like Popeye when he used to cry, “I am what I am, and that’s all that I am!” There are days when I would like to be other than I am, but no matter how hard I try, or wish it were otherwise – I am what I am and everybody, including me, had better get used to it.

In Hebrew the verb “to be” (aeie) has no real tense. So “I am what I am” could equally be interpreted as “I was what I was” and “I will be what I will be”.  This is a huge idea and one most accurate to human character, particularly my own and most especially on Popeye Days. To a large extent the things I struggle with now, I struggled with yesterday and there is little doubt that I will struggle with them tomorrow.

There are days when I just have to yield to myself, give up the struggle and accept that in fact, “I am what I am and that’s all that I am.”

That acceptance can be a tough blessing.

It is a triumph and a confession. It admits of a truth. I’ve earned my scars and deserve the damage.  I’ve also gained the wisdom born of pain and know that whatever else – I’ve endured. Then comes the simple realization; I haven’t reached my limit as I am still here. That is an important re-discovery. Those moments when despair was all that could be mustered have passed and the tide of suffering has gone out and left me washed up on the shore of this moment, reasonably intact.

I am what I am… neither perfect nor ruined. I like to think of myself as antiqued. My finish has been stressed but when looked at in the right light, it reads as character.

“I am what am…” takes a breath in the now and looks both forward and backward with an equal lack of enthusiasm. There is a simple “isness” to the moment and one, which holds the mirror up to my nature and musters a wee smile.  The same smile I believe God had when he allegedly talked to Moses from the burning bush. “I am what I am, Moses, tell everyone I am the great I am and they’d all better get used to it. I created a world I had to destroy once, and don’t think I won’t do that again.” 

As a man who has destroyed a few worlds of his own making, I can relate!

In a time when the bookstore and library shelves are lined with self help books essentially offering people the opportunity to help themselves not be themselves- I bellow the Popeye cry. “I am what I am and that’s all that I am” - for now. What I’ll be tomorrow is yet to be determined. Stay tuned!

Believing is Seeing.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

The saying “seeing is believing” is true to a large extent but more subtle than it first appears.  We see something and how we see it, will determine what we believe about it.  If we see it inaccurately, then what we believe about it will be equally inaccurate.

Which leads me to the conclusion that the obverse of this saying is also true- “believing is seeing”.

If you believe that the universe is composed of what Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche called – basic goodness – then that is how you will see the world.  If you believe that people are divided between good and evil then you will see some people as good and some people as evil - and you will act accordingly.

This seeing what we believe and acting accordingly, has real consequences.

I was about to go into rehearsals for a play when a friend of mine, Leon, asked me who was in the cast. I went down the list and when I got to an actress we’ll call Mary, Leon balked. “Mary is toxic!” he bellowed. “Stay out of her orbit. She’ll be all friendly and suck you in and then bang she’ll throw you under the bus and she’s a sexual predator, so watch out for that!” I was warned!

I went to rehearsal and met this “Mary”.  I was terrified.  I sat away down the table, avoided her at break and when asked if I wanted to go for a drink after the rehearsal - I coolly refused.  I was not about to sucked in to her toxic pool.  For two weeks I was able to keep her at bay.  I watched her Machiavellian antics with the rest of the cast. Her casual evil laugh, her cloying support during tough moments in rehearsal, her chumming with the crew and the gaggle of poor suckers who were taken in by her wile and sinister charm.  Around the start of week three, Leon asked me how it was going and I announced that I had kept said Mary Mac at bay.  “Mary Mac?” he asked quizzically.  “Wrong Mary.”  He stated flatly. “Oops!”

“Oops?” “Oops?”  That didn’t half cover it.  I had interpreted every action of this woman to be malevolent and made her out to be a social pariah.  I ran to rehearsal and approached poor Mary. I explained what had transpired.  Her response was polite, but cold.  Small wonder!  The relationship never recovered. 

I had seen her as toxic and lost the opportunity to discover who she really was.  Believing had been seeing.  And believing something that wasn’t true or accurate had stopped me from seeing what was actually there- a delightful woman with a heart of gold.  I had missed out entirely.

As a result of this insight I realized there was another old phrase that needed to be modified - “What you see is what you get”. What you see is what you “believe” you’ll see.  We all know people who believe the world is a great place filled with blessings and treats behind every twist of fate and that all clouds are silver lined - and for them this seems to be the truth.  The question is, do these people lead blessed lives or do they see their lives as a blessing?

My experience of late is simple; if we believe in “basic goodness” we’ll see it everywhere we look. 

Pause.

The pause that refreshes; advice to change your life.

Ignorance.

Ignorance isn't bliss, but it's everywhere.